Writing

Waiting on Heaven’s Doorstep – My First Novel

It took me twelve years.

Twelve years, twenty rewrites, and God knows how many late nights at coffee shops to get to this point, but I’m finally finished.

My first published novel:

Waiting on Heaven’s Doorstep

This has been a very personal project for me. Not just because of the amount of time and work I put into it, but also because it represents a journey that almost all of us have or will go through at some point, and that’s how to say goodbye to a loved one.

It’s an experience I certainly went through (and have gone through a few times now), and a day I can remember vividly: coming home to my dog of 12 years in the process of dying.

That morning, all I could do was sit next to her and shed a tear, wishing we could share one last run together… wishing she could have one more chance to be a dog before we had to say goodbye. During that moment, I prayed to God. Not so much asking him for that chance, for it was a wish I didn’t deserve, but it was more that I talked to him… I lamented the inevitable loss of my dog, and the devastation I felt. I guess in the end I knew he wasn’t going to grant me that wish… it was just nice to have somebody to talk to.

Me and Maggie, Circa 2012

As the day progressed, there were a lot of strange events that shaped how I would write this book, starting with going to the gun range with my sister’s boyfriend at the time to blow off some steam, to even having somebody mention to me in a half-serious way “I can help you put her down,” which led me to consider for a moment, “is this something I need to do,” and “if I were forced to be the one to put her down, how would I do it?”

With so much going through my mind, I needed to get away—needed time to process. So, I did what any normal person would do: pop in a little Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” and run.

And that’s what I did. I started running… for miles.

During that run, each song that played invoked a different emotion. I was confused, then scared, then sad, then angry—FURIOUS! Fury that manifested into a dead sprint, leading me to almost barf on the side of the road.

Then, there was a sense of emptiness, but strangely enough, as I wrapped up my run, there was even some resolve. And as the days and weeks went on, more strange events took place. Events that were almost too coincidental…

Almost as if in an unexpected way, God listened and answered my prayers… just not quite the way I imagined he would.

It was a combination of events and emotions of which I felt compelled to capture. So, I started writing.

At first, I had no idea what I was doing, and no idea this would turn into a novel, which is partly why it took so long. But looking back, there was also a lot of growth I needed to go through in order to tell the story properly. After all, I started writing as a young professional in my 20’s, and though on the outside I was successful, there was a large part of me that felt discontent with life, almost as if the world I was sold wasn’t what I received.

Since then, I’ve gotten married, had kids, have had the privilege of living in a few different countries, and even went through a few miserable global events that I’d rather forget about.

But those experiences were an integral part of me to start my journey back to my Christian faith, which lead me to read the bible cover to cover for the first time. And for the first time in my life, I was finally able to understand the true meaning of love and the power it has.

And that’s what’s at the core of what this book is about: A story of a young man, which during such a despairing event, embarks on an emotional, physical, and spiritual journey and rediscovers the true meaning of love and the power it has to overcome death and bring hope in the darkest of times.

So, if you’ve gone through this experience before, this book will remind you that you are not alone.

If you feel or have ever felt stuck in life and not sure how to move forward, this book will give you hope to climb out of that valley.

And if you simply enjoy a good coming-of-age story about love and redemption, I think you’ll appreciate this book, for it speaks to many of the struggles those in my generation have gone through (and likely you may have gone through) in life.

If you are interested in supporting me and purchasing a copy, this is available on amazon.com (link here). I would love for your support and for you to share with friends, family, and anybody else who you think would enjoy this book and benefit from its message.

Lastly, I can’t end this without a slew of thank you’s:

Silverdale Starbucks (Bucklin’ Hill Road) homies – thank you for making me feel at home all those years by inviting me in and serving me while I worked on this. If you worked there and ever served me, feel free to send me a message, and I’ll hook you up with a copy.

To Chanel from Athens – Thank you for being the first to read this book. It meant a lot to me that you took the time to read this and your feedback was extremely valuable.

To my old man for doing a big proofread/copyedit job for me. Not only did it save me lots of money, but much time and energy was put into helping me get across the finish line.

Oh, and my bud Damian too, for doing a few last minute quality assurance checks.

To my teachers of the past, Mr. Healey and Mr. Black (may you rest in peace). Thank you for planting the seed of storytelling at a young age (for I wasn’t always a kid who enjoyed reading and writing). You have been inspirations not only to me, but to all those who you taught.

And last but not least, thank you to my wife and her support, especially this last year as she watched the kids, allowing me to take time to go down to the coffee shops to wrap this project up. I couldn’t have done it without her.

And of course there are a million other people who I could (and should) thank, but unfortunately, it’s impossible for me to remember everybody and give them the credit that’s due. Fortunately, there’s a Big Guy upstairs who knows this stuff, and he’ll reward you accordingly, whether it’s in this life or the next.

So in general, thank you all for your support, and I really hope you enjoy this book, and I’m so glad that after 12 years, I finally get to share it with you. And if you’re able and willing, please leave a review on amazon.com. Reviews are one of the biggest things that help independent authors like me get exposure and share the story with the rest of the world, so your willingness to review means the world to me.

If you have any questions about the book or have questions (or are interested) in learning about writing and the process of writing a book, please leave a comment below, as I would love to share with you my knowledge and experience.

Thank you all again, and may God bless.

Sincerely,

Zachary Michael Andrews

Waiting on Heaven’s Doorstep is Available on Amazon:

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I Just Published My First Book!!!

Buy it now on Amazon.

On December 29th, 2020, my life changed forever.  Whether I knew it or not, my son’s birth would become the most dramatic life-altering event I would come to know, and quite possibly will ever know.  It was like a lightbulb went off in my head, that there is something more to a birthday than just having cake and getting presents.  On that day, its meaning became much deeper.

As an avid blogger at the time, I posted all about it (The Significance of a Birthday), adding bits of humor as is typical of the Grizzly Chadams style.  But somehow through the silliness, I managed to churn out the following poem:

The Significance of a Birthday:

It is a day of remembrance.

A day to reflect on nine months spent inside your mother’s womb.  It is a day to remember the nurturing, hard work, and sacrifice that took place, all in preparation for your delivery.  The hours spent in labor, risking one’s life to ensure the sanctity of another.  A day to remember, after all the anguish, discomfort, and sleep deprivation, the overwhelming joy of seeing your face for the very first time.

It is a day of triumph.  That against all odds, you developed from a few cells into the person you are today.  It is a reminder, a living example of the miracle of life.

It is a day of reflection.  We reflect on your greatest successes, the lessons you’ve learned, and the times you fell, only to pick yourself back up again.  We reflect on the person you’ve become, the progress you’ve made, and the endless opportunities ahead of you.

It is a time to remember that on that day, the world would be forever changed.

Your birthday… the day you entered the world.  The day you forever changed our lives.  A day of intense pain and depleted energy, exerted for the sole purpose of giving you life.

A day to remember it was all worth it.

So, for that, we celebrate.  Because among all things, the day of your birth is one worth celebrating.

Though I was pleased with the result, I wasn’t sure how it would reach an audience past my Facebook friends and Instagram followers (which isn’t particularly large).  But soon, I would find out that my mom was making personalized cards for her friends’ birthdays with the poem on them.  It wouldn’t be much longer that I received a message from her with an idea.  “Hey, you should turn this into a children’s book!”

I really liked where her head was going, but quickly learned that when you have a newborn, coupled with moving to another country, starting on a new career path, navigating a new culture and learning its language (all through the throws of the COVID-19 pandemic I’ll add you), that life gets in the way pretty quickly!  So, I sat on it for a while, almost hoping somebody would come along, see it, and do all the hard work for me.  Eventually, that yearning caught up to me and I came to the realization that if it was going to happen, I had to suck it up and do it myself.

So, I bought myself a book appropriately titled, “How to Self-Publish a Children’s Book,” and got to work.  I followed the steps, creating an illustrator’s brief, book specs, and an art release form among other documents.  I learned through trial by error about book formatting and took a crash course in the amazon publishing process.  I put together a job posting, sifted through about 75 applicants, and ended up hiring a Ukrainian Illustrator, which, thanks to the war, turned a 3-month job into 9 months, much longer than either of us had originally anticipated.  And now, almost 4 years later, my first book is ready and available for the masses!

Looking back, I really have no recollection of writing the original poem.  Nothing of the concept, the structure, how it would flow, or even a thought that it would turn into a book and make me a children’s book author.  The crazy thing is, I have a novel that I’ve been working on for north of a decade that I was sure would be my first book!  But, somehow through divine intervention, not only was I able to perfectly encapsulate all the thoughts on my son’s birth, parenthood, and how special that moment was in such a succinct manner, but I was able to take that vision and turn it into picture.  And the more that time passes and I get to watch my kids grow, the more it becomes true, almost as if the Holy Spirit was moving through me to write something beyond my comprehension.

As I write this, there’s a temptation to expand on my thoughts of birthdays, parenthood, and the rest.  For if given the freedom, I could probably write several pages on the topic now (and if you’ve ever read any of my blogs, you probably know what I’m talking about).  But, for everyone’s sake, I’m going to resist, because in the back of my head, I know that because this book does this so concisely, any further explanation would weaken the message.

So, what are my hopes for this?  Well, if it made me a million dollars and allowed me to retire early, that would be a dream come true.  However, more importantly, if it changes the heart of a reader, brightens their day/week/month/year/life, and helps them realize how important they are, I’ll gladly take that.  If it helps a struggling parent remember the beauty of the role they play and to keep carrying on, then that’s worth more than any financial reward I could reap.  And, if there’s anybody out there who’s terrified of being a parent, or perhaps have received some unexpected news and have some doubts about themselves (something I’m sure all of us first time parents have felt), and after reading this they say, “I got this…” then, praise the Good Lord.

Below are some excerpts of the book, and if it’s something you think is worth 12 bucks (or 4 bucks for an e-version), then please consider purchasing a copy, and especially consider supporting an up-and-coming author.  If it turns out that this was something you really enjoyed, then please leave a review on Amazon so I can help get them algorithm to like me more (and if it you thought it was just so so, then I would ask that you exaggerate just a little 😉).  And most importantly, if you received some enjoyment out of it, please consider buying a copy for somebody for their birthday and sharing the message with them.

Because at the end of the day, what better gift idea is there than a copy of this book 😉😉😉?

Get the full book by visiting the link below:

The Significance of a Birthday

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the sample pages, and I look forward to receiving your feedback.

God Bless!

-Zack

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So, I Wrote Another Book…

Four years ago, I wrote a story about a road trip my friend Bill and I made to Wisconsin for our friend’s wedding (posted on the left-hand column of this site).  I never intended it to be a major project, just a way to capture some of the adventures we encountered along the way.  9 months and nearly 300 pages later, I had finished what had become, “Out of the Vein,” a blog/book partly inspired by the Third Eye Blind album of the same name (we were listening to a lot of them during that trip).

By reading it, you’d think that I had as much fun writing it as I did on the actual road trip itself. Though I did (and still do) enjoy writing and telling stories, that wasn’t exactly the case. Not by a long shot. Anybody who’s ever dabbled in any form of writing knows that it can be extremely difficult, stressful, and terrifying, especially when it comes time to share it with others.

In fact, it was quite a struggle at times, devoting countless hours and long weekends to writing, all the while beating myself up whenever I got writers block or felt like I wasn’t writing fast enough.  “What was the point of it all,” I’d ask myself. “How many people have written about going on a road trip, and why was mine any more special than theirs’?”  After all, I wouldn’t say there was exactly anything profound about my words. Essentially, it was just a collection of silly stories about two friends getting into antics across the United States.

But there was something inside that kept pushing me, to go forth and finish out what I started, even if people, including myself, didn’t quite understand.  It’s like there’s some spiritual essence within all of us driving our passions, to do that one thing we’re great at; that one thing we were meant to do.  If I had to guess, I’d say it’s something that comes from the big man upstairs, aka, the great bambino, the Holy Ghost, the one and only G-O-D.

And so, I did just that.  I wrote, and I didn’t stop.

That New Year’s Eve following the trip, I received some somber news.  One of my good friends from Minnesota tragically passed away.  I remember that night vividly–me, standing outside my parent’s deck, cold and devastated with an old fashioned in hand, thinking about one of the last times we had hung out with her.  It was during our road trip, a moment that was taken for granted, yet one that was lived to the fullest, and one that I had fully captured in writing.

In that moment of despair, if only for a brief moment, I realized how powerful friendship can be.  For the first time, I realized how those small and insignificant moments you spend with your friends can become the most memorable ones of your life, and how important it is to captures those memories.  I realized that maybe there’s a bigger reason to it all, something that I may not ever fully understand, but could appreciate.  That maybe, my call to writing was a part of that.

***

One year later, Bill, now living in Texas, convinced me to meet him in Idaho for an impromptu trip to “surprise” all our Boise friends.  In a way, you could say that we’d find out what happens when the “Z” is in “Boise!”

Turns out, there wasn’t much of a surprise (thanks to Bill ruining the “plan”) and it ended up being your typical weekend in South-central Idaho.  Nothing special, just a few episodes of foolhardy fun, including winning a highly competitive cornhole tournament, watching a full-grown man punch out an old lady, listening to another grown man cry over fried pickles (believe me, it was awful), stopping Gretch from beating a kid up at the bar, chasing after a girl (I’m afraid to admit), riding a mechanical bull, floating the Boise River while running into diabolical characters along the way, putting up with Josh Ulrich’s crap, and even a strange obsession with running shoes…

And it’s hard to believe, but we even managed to schedule a face to face meeting with the legendary… Megan Mills…

Every time we turned around, some crazy event was about to unfold, a new conflict had to be resolved, and another beer had to be drunk.  But coupled with the eclectic group of personalities, it turned out to be a weekend I’d never forget.  So, I decided to write about it.

…And I ended up writing a lot.

I’m not exactly sure how I became so invested with writing.  I’m sure it’s a combination of things, but a lot of it probably stems from the fact that I have so much going on in the old noggin, and writing is one of the ways to get it out and express myself.  So much so, that it took me a few years to juggle it with other life events that include moving to DC, getting married, starting a new job, and keeping up with the blog every once and a while.

But low and behold, after three years, my second blog-book “How to Clean your Conscience,” is officially complete.  I guess you could say it’s a sequel to “Out of the Vein,” and it’s a true story too! Well, mostly true… roughly 80–we’ll say 85%… I’ll say this. The meat and potatoes are all there, and of course I had to fill in some of the details… I mean, I don’t remember every detail from every conversation, and there’s this thing called artistic liberty…

Ok, 87.5%. Final answer.

Bottom line, you can argue over the facts all day long, but what I can say with absolute sincerity is that I’m definitely I’m excited to share it with the world.

***

It’s funny looking back; one of my last summers as a bachelor, just having turned thirty, and still working on that whole “growing up” routine.  There are definitely times I cringe thinking about the things we did (the mechanical bull and girl chasing scenario among them).  At the same time, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  It was a special weekend, a time where we weren’t thinking about trying to force a memory, but simply living in the moment and enjoying the company around us, even if we acted miserable.

So, over the next several weeks, I’ll be releasing it on the blog one chapter at a time.  My hope is that you read it, have a few laughs, and remember to go out with those that are closest to you and make a memory or two this summer.

Stay tuned for more, and happy reading!

Boise Skyline
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