December 6th, 2023 – What’s with all the Olive Oil???
It was a relatively calm Sunday morning, at least as calm as it can be for a wife in labor. For the most part, there was a lot of waiting. And waiting. And… “Hey doc, it’s around lunch time. Do you think I have time to grab a bite to eat?”
“Oh yea, the baby probably won’t be here for at least a few more hours, so go ahead and run up to the cafeteria.”
“Ok, great,” I think to myself, as any normal man would having just been permitted to eat food. I make my way up there, and as I’m causally strolling through the café with a pizza-like pastry in my hand, “because why not? We have a couple hours to kill, so it’s not like I’m stressed. But wait, what’s this?” As I’m about to pay, my phone rings. It’s the doctor. “…Hello?”
“Hi Zack, the pregnancy is moving a bit faster than we originally thought, so no need to rush, but as soon as you finish your food, go ahead and come back down to the ward.”
“Sure, no problem. Again, not going to stress, just going to finish this pizza snack and head back down. I mean, you heard the guy, right? No need to rush. So no, I’m not going to—”
Not even a minute passed, and the doctor is standing in front of me. “Zack, the baby’s coming! We gotta go!” Apparently, things were changing at an exponential rate! Or the doctor’s wife, who also was serving as the midwife, had a word or two with him and made him act accordingly. But long story short, I scarfed my pizza down, ran to the ward, put my scrubs on, and got ready for prime time.
We’re working through the process, but 2:30 rolls around and my wife is in need of some extra motivation. “So, Zack says he’s going to buy you a new purse if the baby is delivered by 3:00,” the doctor says to my wife.
“Wait a minute… purse? Who said anything about a—”
“What kind of purse?” she asks.
“A Coach purse!” I quickly blurt.
“Did you say Channel?”
“No, I said Coach, A—”
“Oh my gosh, Channel, I can’t believe it!”
“No, not Channel, NO—hey, what’s with the olive oil? Why are you pouring it—JUST HOLD ON A SEC—”
So, at approximately 2:58 PM on October 22nd, our daughter Teigan Hazel was born.

It wasn’t long before she was in my arms and I was doing my best to welcome her into the world. “You know who she looks like,” asked the doctor’s wife as I rocked her back and forth.

Suddenly, my heart stopped, and a cloud of anxiety grew heavy over my mind. “Oh no, please don’t say Rich… please don’t say Rich…”
“She looks like her father!”
“Phew!” Talk about a huge relief!” And Mike, I think she was right. I mean, I know my little dude’s a good lookin’ guy, but her. I can’t even!

And you know, at first when I discovered I was having a girl, I was a little worried, especially with all the bad boys in the world. But after seeing her face, I gotta say, I think I’m going to be all right. Just promise me that if anything happens or if I’m in need of a pinch, that you and Uncle Rich will be there to look after her! I mean, I am a little worried about her spending too much time with Rich, and God forbid, becoming a Cowboys fan. That would be one grumpy baby! But dang it, there aren’t that many men I trust in the world anymore, and if it came down to it, I know I could count on him!
But Mike, let me tell ya, she already knows! I think she’s asleep and ready for bed… nope! She wants to be in daddy’s arms. And I try to sit down for a short while… nope! She wants to be standing! She’s barely just a girl, but acting like a woman who knows what she wants and won’t settle for anything less! Pray for me!
And don’t worry, we’re still getting the little guy some love! Just last week, he got all dressed up for the embassy Halloween party! I think he came out pretty well too. Even snagged a picture with the ambassador and the second in command! Not bad for a 2 year old!

The holidays have been keeping us busy, trying to keep up with the little ones and all. Took a nice little trip to this place called Kalavryta, which I guess is where people go to ski in Greece, except you wouldn’t know it from the looks of the place. I mean, we’re getting to December and where’s all the snow?! At least the farm we stayed at was nice.


Oh, and our little one is starting to figure who this Santa guy is and what he brings to the table, so we’re trying to get him in the spirit a little early this year. They set up a Christmas village right after Thanksgiving, and well, all I can say is the Greeks don’t shy away from chaos! Regardless of the stress we went through, we had a great time.


And speaking of Santa… you guys remember what happened last year. I can’t lie, I’m getting a little nervous. I mean, there’s not many who can do the job like it’s supposed to and… well, I don’t want to spoil the mood for anybody, for we should be rejoicing!
So don’t be shy! For all his faults, our good buddy Rich would send me lots of updates. And I don’t want to say you’re slacking or anything, but you are Magic Mike after all, so I know you can make it happen!
Respectfully,
-Zack
















