I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a little sick of this Coronavirus. Like, not sick as in I need a ventilator or because I drank too many Corona’s last night, but I mean, it’s really puttin’ a drag on my style! First, they shut down the pub. Then, they went after the gym. And now, the Governor’s telling me to stay at home!?
I’ve never seen our nation’s capital so lonely…
And honestly, if you asked, I’d say we’re managing. I still have enough stock in the fridge to make plenty of servings of my favorite quarantine dish, of which I would highly recommend, especially for those of you on a budget! No kidding, you can create this delicacy south of $3.00! That’s a steal these days!
It’s also given me the chance to become reacquainted with my old friend, television. FYI, 1917 and the Peanut Butter Falcon—great flicks. 47 Meters Down: Uncaged and Good Burger—not so much. Actually, Good Burger pissed me off a little bit, but I’ll rant all about that at a later date.
It’s a blessing and a curse, the ol’ tube. Living in a single bedroom in the city, TV privileges must be negotiated with the ol’ lady, and I fear my worst fear has been realized. She, to my ultimate demise, has recently discovered her new favorite reality show, Very Cavaleri. Not only is there a lot of seasons to catch up on, but she is insistent that I watch it. Normally, I’d easily acquiesce to the request as I often do with shows like Vanderpump Rules, except it costars her husband, aka, one of the worst human being’s in the world.
Smokin’ Jay Cutler.
I’m sure some of you are asking, “How bad can Jay Cutler actually be?” Let me put it this way. If I had to rank the 10 worst human beings of all time, Adolf Hitler being #1 and Osama Bin Laden being #10, Jay Cutler would easily land himself a #7 spot by the most conservative of estimates.
It’s bad enough that I had to watch him play for the Bears. And now, I’m forced to watch him in reality? Is it a coincidence that Trump recently labeled gun stores as “essential?”
If you want my honest opinion about Smokin’ Jay’s reality TV career, I’d some it up as one small pain in the ass for a man, one giant travesty to mankind!
Ok, let’s not jump to conclusions, but you can understand how such a predicament can put a strain on a relationship. And with the new season of Real Housewives of the Potomac still two months out, it isn’t going to get any easier anytime soon. There is a silver lining, however. If we can survive until then, then I think we can survive anything.
But I’m afraid the weenie is taking it the worst. I try to shower him with love whenever I can, and at first, it was working. We used to be like two peas in a pod.
But I fear he’s taken social distancing to a whole new level. Often, he lashes out like an angst-ridden teenager unable to escape from the constant and close proximity of his parents. It seems as though his aggressive behavior has taken a turn for the worst, as the usual whining for food has quickly evolved into threats and attacks.
I worry about him. I can see the pain and feel the anger every time he chases me around the house, something that occurs at least once a day. Our only hope is that it eases up very soon, but that depends on the easing of this stupid beer bug, which from the looks of it, ain’t goin’ away anytime soon.
So, what does one do at times like these? How does one keep himself sane when the world is holding you back? How does one cope with the threat of indefinite quarantine?
There was a time… yes, once upon a time, where I had a dream, a treasure trove of thoughts, ideas, and stories to unleash upon the world. A dream like Dr. King’s, not quite as ambitions, but a dream no less to grace the world with these stories.
Unfortunately, to my own discredit, Grizzly Chadams has fallen off the bandwagon the past few months. With a heavy workload, the role of Infrastructure Committee Chairman, and a full-time husband and adopted owner to a Dachshund, it seems I had put my dreams on hold. Heck, let’s not beat around the bush, I’m a busy guy! Think about it… everyday I have to wake up, brush my teeth, get dressed, go to work, go to the bathroom a few times, cook and eat a few more, go out for a run, spend time with the wife and weenie, watch some Real Housewives—that’s a lot to do all in one day! And that’s not even counting if things go wrong, like I step in dog poop, have to go to the grocery store, or dislocate my knee!
But during times like these, we all have to step up. Think of all the medical workers working the long hours, the delivery dudes getting food to everybody, or people like my mom who are in their sewing room making masks, and let us not forget all the good people working at the TP factories around the country. I know a few personally from Lewiston Idaho doing their part to keep our colon’s clean. The fine people at Clearwater Paper making the sacrifice won’t go unnoticed—not on my watch. And one thing’s for sure, I’m definitely buying all their asses a beer next time I see em’!
Knowing I’m not as important as those people, I can at least do my part not to be a total turd during this whole thing. And really, for a lot of us, not being a turd means not squandering the opportunity to do the things we always wanted to do, but couldn’t because of the lack of hours in the day. For me, I suppose that’s getting back on track clearing the backlog of blogs I have up in the ol’ noggin. And believe me, I got a lot of em’ to share, including pristine conditions of your typical Jimmy John’s bathroom, the perfect symmetry of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and the overrated nature of pop culture entities, such as Chipotle, celebrities like John Legend and Chrissy Tegan, Marvel movies, and Ernest Hemingway (and don’t worry, I won’t forget about the underrated things, like Two and a Half Men).
Bottom line, don’t forget about your dreams. There’s a little bit of Grizzly Chadams in all of us, so unleash it unto the world and do what you were meant to do! Stay tuned, cause you got a lot of blogging coming your way.
Grizzly Chadams is back!