spring

May 19^th, 2024 – The Colossal Weight of Vacation

Well Rich, it turns out that vacations aren’t quite the same when you have 2 kids…

I know what you’re thinkin’. “Wow, that’s a nice picture!” Well, let me tell ya, it was a miracle we were able to get that one, because we just got back from this place called Rhodes and I feel like I need a vacation from the vacation! That trip wore me out! I mean, when you go on vacation, you’re supposed to be sitting on the beach, drinking a few beers, hanging out by the pool, eating a bunch of fancy food, and all in all relaxing the days away. I even tried to make it easy by staying at a resort near the water for a couple of nights, and well, apparently, that was too much to ask. No kidding, for the entire time I was there, it was like I was doing everything I could to prevent the little ones from getting us kicked off the island! And finally, after all the screaming and running around and one is finally ready for a nap, it’s the other’s turn to wreak chaos. Geez Louis! I seriously could not catch a break!

*The one and only picture I could take before all hell broke loose!*

Oh, and to make matters even worse, the night before, I accidently ate some bad lamb and ended up doing some barfing all night! I knew I should’ve listened to Niko about ordering lamb from a restaurant on Easter…

And that’s another thing. Last year, we made a big hoopla about Orthodox Easter. But since we were flying out on a vacation the next day, we settled for the Easter bunny this year.

Anyways, remember how I told you how much the Greeks hate the Turks? Well, apparently back then, it was even worse, because the big deal with this place was since it’s so close to Turkey, they built a giant castle on the edge of the island so they could shoot at them and fight them off whenever they came by. And well, I suppose it was a pretty good castle, because it’s still standing today. And actually, if the kiddos were behaving for a minute or so, I could actually enjoy the place a little bit. I mean, they had shops inside, restaurants, museums, and all sorts of other medieval stuff. Even a few places to get a beer or two. And you know me, Rich. I’m not the fanciest guy in the world, but I’m not a barbarian either, so if it came down to it, given the right conditions, I could spend a few more nights in a place like this.

Oh, and here’s some smarty pants talking all about the island.

Oh, and when I was reading up on the place, there was also supposed to be this giant statue called the Colossus where this dude stood on each side of the bay and all the ships that came in had to go under him. Apparently, it was so big, that they considered it a “wonder of the ancient world.”

But, when we got there, he was nowhere to be seen, and when I asked around, the word was it fell down a couple thousand years ago or so, which in the end, I think I’m alright with.

Not that it wasn’t impressive and all, but can you imagine having back in your navy days pulling into port and having to go under some guy’s dirty crotch? What kind of sick mind devised such a thing? And what if you had kids on the boat? You’re telling me they were forced to be exposed to that? Den Nomizo Taki!

Good riddance, Statue of Colossus. I for one am glad you were toppled years ago. And now that I think about it, if I was a Turk and had to go under that thing, I’d be pretty pissed off at the Greeks too!

Sheesh.

June 23^rd, 2024 – The Hot Hot Heat Calls For Hot Sausage!

Kalimera, Rich!

I guess today is officially the first day of summer, but if you were over here, you’d swear it’d been summer for the last few months now! Holy moly did it get cookin’! So much that we just had to get out of town for a little bit. And this time, I’m glad we did!

Now Rich, you know I won’t be here forever, so if you come and I’m not here, you gotta meet this guy Niko. Not only is he my best bud over here, but he is a grill master. Just take a look at him on the bbq! It’s not every day you come across a rock star like that!

He invited us to his villa in this place called Agio that’s on the coast of the Gulf of Corinth. Not only did he make us lambchops, which is my favorite over here, but and he had this sausage… You know me, Rich. I’ve been to many a sausage fest in my life and tasted all different kinds. But his… I don’t think I can remember a better tasting sausage if I’m honest with you. It was just so flavorful and juicy… I mean, it was like a party in my mouth! I’m tellin’ ya, you gotta try it. So, when you head over, give me a heads up and I’ll get you in touch with Niko so you can taste his sausage. You won’t regret it.

And I’ll tell ya, we were lucky to have it as well! That day they had record temperatures in the Peloponnese along with several wildfire alerts, which happened to be the day that these two hunks decided to go to grace the beach with their presence. Coincidence? I think not!!!

We also made it down to Kalamata, and I know what you’re thinking. “Hey, isn’t that where those olives I buy at Costco are from?” And the answer to your question is, yes. But if I told you we went down for the olives, I’d be lying. Sure, they’re great and all, but a three-year-old could care less about some slimy olives. All he wants is trains. Train, trains, trains.

So, we went to the biggest train park in Greece, on the hottest weekend of the year. I’m glad he was having a good time, because I was struggling! I think I went through about 3 or 4 coke zeros and Schweppes sodas just to get through the afternoon!

Though you can complain about the heat, you can’t complain about the views. This was our dinner that night. I don’t care what Mike says. You can’t beat this!

Part 13: Summer 2024

April 19^th, 2022 – The Most Beautiful Place on Earth (According to a Smokeshow)

Kalimera Rich! I hope you had a happy Easter. Turns out, the Greek Orthodox Church schedules Easter differently, so I we’ll be celebrating Easter next weekend, I suppose. And really, the whole thing has thrown me off a bit! I’m going to have to do my homework for next year so we can celebrate the right way. One thing’s for sure, is that before all this is over, I’ll make sure you’re prepared when you decide to celebrate Greek Orthodox Easter.

We finally made it out to one of the Greek islands, and let me tell ya Rich, it was awesome! A much needed break from Athens, which is often dense, dirty, and full of traffic. We went to a place called Hydra, where there are no cars. And don’t make the mistake that I did and call it by what I think it should be called. It’s actually pronounced, “Idra,” and well, the locals weren’t shy about giving me a hard time about it!

From what my wife tells me, the actress Sophia Loren said it was the most beautiful place she’d ever been to on Earth. I don’t know that much about her, but apparently she was quite the “smokeshow,” as the kids say these days, and she was in the movie Grumpier Old Men. And now that I think of it, our good friend and colleague Tara told me that that movie was based off of you and Mike. I wasn’t quite sure where she got that idea from, but I suppose I’ll take her word for it.

Well, enough slobbering over Miss Loren here. Bottom line is that if you ever make it out here, I would highly recommend you check out one of the islands, because that’s where you’re going to get an authentic Greek experience. And while I was there, I even found myself a nice fisherman’s outfit!

Watch till the end. You won’t be disappointed.

I think it’s a pretty good look, but unfortunately, by the time you read this, those lovely locks and that beard will be tamed. The wife couldn’t take it anymore and demanded I get a haircut. I pleaded with her, explaining you once had a great mane and sported it with pride during the Washington National’s World Series run of 2019, but she wasn’t having it.

All wasn’t lost though. I found this place called Barberia Atenes, of which advertise as a “Gentlemen’s Club.” Now, I know what you’re thinking, and I can assure you, this isn’t one of those Gentlemen’s Club that Hunter Biden goes to. No no, none of that greasy stuff. These guys were top notch, professional, and well dressed, the true definition of the word “gentlemen.” And Rich, I kid you not, the first thing they ask me when I walked in, “Hello sir, would you like a drink while you wait? Perhaps a glass of whiskey?” My mind was blown. And this wasn’t that cheap whiskey that our buddy Mike used to drink as a sailor. No way José. This was some quality stuff.

After a few sips the barber was ready and I took my seat. “Sir, what type of cut would you like?” Talk about a riddle that had me stumped! It’d been so long since I had a cut that I had completely forgotten what my go-to style was! My mind started racing, my head grew dizzy, and I took another sip of whiskey. I couldn’t just waste their time like that! Back in the states at a Sports Clips? ok, maybe I’d have some time, but these were professionals, with clients to see and things to do! I had to think, and think quick! “What type of cut would Rich get… THAT’S IT!!!”

I rummaged through my phone and found an old pic of you and me from the Navy Yard days, and told the man, “I want to look like that.” Rich, no lie, they gave me the best haircut I ever had. They cut with precision, they trimmed my beard, they spend 45 minutes primping and pampering, making sure every last detail was complete.

Then I started sweating. “You know, this is really nice. Like, over the top nice, something only those fancy politicians can afford. And all the whiskey, the pomp and circumstance, attention to detail, this has probably got to run me… uh oh…” Let me tell ya, I really stepped in it big time. I was seconds from blowing my entire budget on one stinking haircut. I was feeling sicker than ever, and even regretted getting that refill or two of whiskey. Tipsy or not, I braced myself for the damage.

“Thank you, sir. That will be 30 euros please.”

“What? Come again? 30 euros???” Rich, I couldn’t believe it. I felt like a king! “30 euros? Please, take my money! And here’s an extra 5 for the tip!!!” All that for 30 euros? Heck, I almost pay that much for a haircut at any dusty old place back in DC, and when it comes to tipping, they’re actually grateful for tips over here. A great cut, a complimentary glass of whiskey… you bet your sweet toosh I’ll be going back!

And it occurred to me while I was there. My engineering days may be numbered, for I may just need to open myself a whiskey bar/hair cut place when I get back to the States, because I can’t believe nobody had ever thought of that prior. Then again, I may need to be careful about who I tell. I’m telling you because I can trust you, but some of these guys, even our good buddy Mike, you just never know. Now don’t get me wrong, I like Mike and believe he’s a stand up guy, but you know what they say in the Navy, “Trust but verify.”

…Well, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe telling Mike isn’t such a bad thing after all. I’m sure if we work with him a little bit, I betcha the man can clean up pretty well and looks pretty sharp in a suit. And now that I’m really thinking about it, he may be the perfect spokesman, a poster boy to show the world that we can turn even the likes of him into a class act, a perfect gentlemen.

The Perfect Gentlemen… that’s it! That’s the name of my new business! And I’ll tell you what, if I ever get this thing off the board, you’ll be my first customer!

That’s about all that’s going on right now. I hear the Nats are playing the Dodgers this week, and I also heard about how the Dodgers pulled Kershaw when he was 6 outs away from pitching a no hitter. I don’t know about you, but that’s unbelievable. I don’t know what it is with these sports stars these days. I think they’re all a little too spoiled if you ask me, because you wouldn’t see the likes of Roger Clemens or Nolan Ryan stepping off the mound if they were on the brink of pitching no hitters. It’s a shame, but that’s how it is with these kids these days. The best I can do is teach my little guy appropriately. And don’t you worry, I’ve been getting him well acquainted with the classic sports legends since the day he was born. And trust me, I’ll be guiding him as long as I can.

Some of the greatest athletes of our generation, no doubt

Until next time and very respectfully,

Zack

Part 4: Summer 2022

The Trials and Tribulations of a Grizzly Chadams

Kalimera! Spring 2024

Kalimera! Spring 2022