Taking a quick detour from my Greek adventures, as this has been blowing up on social media and been sort of eating at me.
There is a clip going around of a Packers fan (a young woman) being berated by an Eagles fan, or who I will term “bully” who proceeds to call her an ugly “See U Next Tuesday” if you get the reference.
Lately, I haven’t been commenting on these types of things, for there seems to be plenty of that on twitter and other social media sites, but I came across a clip from Matt Walsh, who berated the woman’s fiancée for not “defending her honor.”
I usually appreciate Matt Walsh’s commentary, for I do believe there are many places in today’s society that require a no-nonsense approach to solving issues, and his deadpanned style of humor can actually not just be informative, but quite entertaining in some of his documentaries. But one foible of his I’ve noticed is he seems to lack grace with men in certain issues, or at least that’s the perception he gives, when I think grace is required as we live in a fallen world.
Also, in this particular commentary, I think he misses the broader picture, something that’s an even greater plague on our society, which is the idolatry of this game that so many of us are wrapped up in. And when I say “us,” I’m including myself, for I can be just as guilty as everybody else.
First, let’s talk about manliness and defending your honor. Unfortunately, like he mentioned, the clip that’s shown doesn’t share the entire story. There could’ve been an altercation between the two prior, and the guy filming could’ve had a few extra words to say after he stopped recording. But judging by the woman and the fact that she was sitting in front, it’s hard for me to believe she did anything egregious other than being a typical fan rooting for her team. And let’s just assume the man recording left it at and didn’t say anything the rest of the game to him. I’m tempted to say “I would’ve done this, or that…” but doing so would simply be Monday morning quarterbacking the situation, of which there’s already enough of that going on.
But the question remains, should he have gone and punched or physically assaulted the bully in the face and risked going to jail or the hospital?
I think it’s worth nothing that in these situations, we should make a distinction between being courageous and being stupid. If you’re on a date and take a wrong turn down a street and suddenly, you’re surrounded by a group of dangerous robbers, one of whom insults your wife/fiancée/girlfriend. Should your first reaction to attack him? I would say no, for your duty is to get her out of harms away above teaching that guy a lesson and live to fight another day, of which attacking one of them would simply rope you in to doing exactly what they wanted you to do.
And though going to an NFL game is a little different, the concept still holds. The woman and her fiancée were in a no win situation, surrounded by people of which were he to act as Matt suggested, he would be giving in to exactly what the bully wants, which is to create a situation where he could easily beat up a fan of the opposing team with little repercussions, with the excuse “he threw the first punch.”
But while people can debate whether or not the guy filming violated the man-code for not defending his fiancée’s honor, I think the better question is, “where were the other men?” The bully was apparently with his two friends, whom were surrounded by several other people, of which more than half were also men, who sat around couldn’t care less as a woman was being called vile names? Nobody had the gall to say, “hey bud, knock it off!”??? We can harp on the guy filming all we want, but when it comes down to it, he’s closer to powerless in this situation than we would like to believe, while being surrounded by people who actually have the authority to step in and correct the bully’s behavior. And I’m not even suggesting physical confrontation, but imagine if another Philly fan went over to him and said something like, “before we are Packers fans or Eagles fans, we are human beings, and we don’t treat people like that!” That guy probably would’ve been a bit humbled, maybe even apologized, and would probably still have a job, for it’s said that the company he works for has since terminated him as an employee.
I think if we take an honest look at ourselves as men, there are times where we’re in positions of authority for others who do not have that power, and at the risk of being uncomfortable, we simply do not act. And I know at least for myself, I can do better.
But the broader issue at stake that is mostly ignored here is the idolatry of our sports teams. And I get that there’s many forms of idolatry in this world, but I think it’s safe to say that the NFL, being as big as it is, is one form that has captured many of us.
I specifically remember taking my wife (then my girlfriend) to a Packers/Redskins game a few months after we started dating. I did my usual routine of getting super excited, drinking a little too much, hooting and hollering and heckling Redskins fans and players, and overall acting like a fool, something I easily got away with as a single man (or more appropriately, a single boy). The next day, she made it crystal clear that I would not be acting like that ever again.
And she was correct. My behavior was childish, and looking back at how I acted as a fan in my 20’s and early 30’s, I’m a bit embarrassed to say the least. The arrogance I displayed when my team won, the meltdowns I publicly had when they lost, and in my more “matured” response, I would talk as if my team was the center of my life, which is the definition of idolatry, and as a Christian man, I was breaking that commandment day in and day out. Through marriage, having children, and also living outside the US for the last couple of years, I’ve thankfully been able to take a step back and not make football the center of my life. But although I may not publicly display it, in my heart, there are times when those feelings of hatred and animosity towards rival teams’ surface, and there’s no good reason for it.
It’s this idolatry that causes people like the bully in the video to talk to that woman that way, because his sports team, “must be placed higher than anything else, and anything that gets in the way of this must be torn down, belittled, and shamed.” It is literally the worship of a sports team, and being that the Eagles have only won one Super Bowl, it is worship that will let him down more often than not (as it will let down all of us, no matter what team we root for). It’s forms of this idolatry that prevent people from doing the right thing, because doing so may make us uncomfortable and violate whatever the idol commands against, which in this case, includes diminishing the sacredness that comes with rooting for our team.
A point was also made that, “you should simply not take your fiancée to an Eagles game period.” And to a certain extent, I get that, for I probably wouldn’t take my son to an NFL game until he’s near adulthood for that reason. But how sad is that, that we’re starting to collectively accept that a professional sports game is no place to bring your family? I can remember how special it was as a kid when my mom and dad took us to a Mariners game and getting to see Ken Griffey Jr. hit a home run. And now as an adult, I feel that I won’t be able to give that experience to my children because some adults may ruin it, again, all for the sake of idolatry? And imagine if we held this standard all the way? “Oh, we can’t go to Billy’s high-school football tonight because he’s playing an away game, and the fans say disgusting things to our wives and children…” That would not be tolerated on that level, and the same should go for the professional level as well.
I’ve heard Philly has a reputation, as seen by this video of a Viking’s fan (and mind you, that I am certainly no fan of the Vikings), which I would hope the leadership in the Eagles organization and the NFL would make strides to correct this, for it’s making ordinary people akin to rabid animals in the wild.
But even if it doesn’t exist to this extent with other NFL franchises, other forms of idolatry still do. We let these teams control our emotions, our behavior, how our weeks, months, and years will go, and we act like it’s the center of the universe. I say, let’s try to find something else to put front and center, my recommendation being Jesus Christ. And I get that not everybody is a Christian like me, but there are certainly other things we can put before football in our lives, our family and friends being one.
Until we do that, football, and sports in general, will continue to become less and less enjoyable to watch, both for the bullies and the innocent among us.
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