September 7th, 2021 – The Flight Over
Kalimera Rich!
At least that’s what they say over here in Greece. It’s supposed to mean good morning or good day or something, but I can’t understand anything that anybody says over here! It’s like they’re speaking in Ancient Greek or something!
That being said, we made it over here safe and sound and we’re starting to get all settled in, but it wasn’t easy. We barely made our flight out of DC, and I was running with three bags in my hand just to make sure we caught our flight out of here. Let me tell ya, Dulles can be a madhouse, and some of those TSA agents can be a real pain in the keister. And geez, it seemed like I was running for miles after I finally got passed those guys! I don’t know why they had to make that airport so dang big! Thankfully, it sounds like the good lord had an angel guiding us, cause I don’t know how we would’ve made it without one of those. And double thankful that we didn’t have to ride on one of those weird looking transport buses. You know, the ones that look like the imperial walkers from Star Wars? That would’ve been a nightmare!
And speaking of angels, that baby boy of mine was so good on the flight. Slept most of the way, and didn’t even cry except for a few brief moments, which nobody can fault him for. You would’ve been proud of him, except for the part when we were landing… then there was trouble…
We were giving him some milk, you know, to help with the pressure and his ears. He almost got it all the way down, but then catastrophe struck. Rich, that boy barfed the entire bottle of milk back up, and that stuff went everywhere! All over the seat, my pants, the blankets, my wife… Everywhere! Talk about a disaster trying to clean it all up. But he made up for it when we went through customs. That seems to be the trick around here, just have a baby in your hands. “Oh, you have a baby? Go right ahead, don’t worry about your COVID papers. Your passport? Ah, just keep them in your pocket. I trust ya with that little guy. Go ahead, skip to the front of the line…” Ok, ok so I may have been exaggerating a little bit, because they’re still a little nuts about the COVID stuff here, but you get the idea.
Besides trying to get my sleep schedule on track, everything has been going pretty well, and we’re starting to settle in. And between you and me, they set us up real good. Our place is huge! I’m not sure what I’m going to do with all this space, so if you’re ever feeling adventurous, stop on by and see me.
I got lots of work still to do before everything is good and dandy, for we still haven’t even gotten all our stuff yet! But we got a few years to take care of that, so I’m not too worried. Hopefully I’ll have some pictures to share on my next update, and I still need to go out to the Acropolis sometime. I hear that place is pretty spiffy. Hope things are going well back in the homeland. Say hi to all the folks for me, and keep a lookout for ol’ Mike. You know how much I worry about him.
October 6th, 2021 – Cliff? What Cliff?
Kalimera Rich!
Thought I’d give you guys another life update as well as the long-awaited pictures you had asked for. And I would’ve emailed last week, but I felt as though it would be appropriate for those who needed time to grieve. I mean, did you see that thwomping the Cowboys gave the Eagles? Holy cow, our good buddy Mike must’ve been a mess! One day, he’s shouting “fly Eagles fly!” The next, he’s on he’s banging his fists on his desk, crying, “why Eagles why?” I sure hope he’s doing ok, and I certainly think enough time has passed, but you never know.
We still haven’t received our car, so I haven’t been able to make my visit to the Acropolis yet, but my wife had a work dinner down there recently and got some nice pics. Hopefully I’ll get myself some pics too in the near future. But man, for all the talk about crumbling infrastructure, the Greeks could do some upgrades themselves!
Thankfully, the Infrastructure at our house still looks pretty sound. Just check out this place! You know me, I only accept the highest standards for me and my family.
Ok, ok, so that’s not our real house. That’s actually the ambassador of South Africa’s residence. But one can always dream, right? Our place looks a little more modest, but you know me. I’m a pretty modest guy myself and eternally grateful for the gifts the good Lord has provided me. Just give me the basics: shelter, food, beer, and I’m a happy man!
Speaking of food, I think I already found the best restaurant in Greece. I’m tellin’ ya, if you ever come to visit, you gotta try this place. It’s amazing! And the prices aren’t too bad either. Some of the burgers are the best I’ve had since I got here, almost as good as some of the ones you get in the States!
Running can be a dangerous endeavor in Greece, for people drive like they’re mad, and they’re holes all over the place! But you know me, that can’t stop a guy like me from venturing out and exploring. I guess I’m just that type of guy! And judging by the views, I’d say it’s worth it! (it turns out, I was able to get my shot of the Acropolis after all…)
The other day, however, I woke up early to get a run in before the wife went to work. Feeling adventurous and confident in my navigational abilities, I decided to take a trail up the side of the mountain. Immersed in the beauty of the land, I ran through the Greek landscape guided by the spirits of the ancient philosophers Socrates and Plato and propelled by the strength and courage of the great warrior Pheidippides at Marathon, knowing they would show me the way back to my house with ease and… and…
“Oh. Crap.” I said to myself, looking down upon the cliff in front of me. I was stuck on top of this mountain, without a clear path home. The wife would be awake any minute now, wondering where on Earth I could be. At this point I had two options in front of me. Retrace my steps and attempt to find the way back home, which would almost certainly result in me being late and a severe tongue lashing from my wife, or risk death by traversing down the cliff where I could clearly see the road and the path back home. Forced to think quickly on my feet and using the skills I learned in back at the Navy Yard assessing risk, I asked myself, “what would Rich do in a situation like this?” Suddenly, the answer was as clear as day. Thus, I proceeded the death-defying climb down the cliff.
“Hi hun, how are you?” I asked my wife as I walked in the door, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. And seeing that she had just woken up a few minutes prior, it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.
“Good, how was your… run?” I didn’t like the way she said that last word, nor the way she was staring at me. You know the feeling as well I do. Your wife senses something’s wrong, and all of a sudden, here comes a flood of questions. And let me tell ya, I could see punishment coming from a mile away.
“Why is your body covered in dirt? Oh my gosh, look at all those scrapes all over your arms! and why is your shirt ripped? Did you fall? Where did you run? You know I told you not to run on those trails in the morning! And look at all those bruises on your legs? Did you fall or something–“
“No, I didn’t fall off a cliff!… I mean, cliff? What cliff? I don’t even know what you’re talking about! Why would I have fallen off a cliff? I’m not stup–look, I gotta get in the shower so I can take care of the baby and you can get ready for work. I don’t have time for 20 questions, so let’s just table this for now.
“But Zack–“
“No more questions!”
Rich, let me tell ya, it’s only by the grace of God that I survived that without any further admonishment. I gotta say though, I was sore for a week! But I’ll be back on the trail soon enough. Maybe there’s even a trail up to the Acropolis. And believe me, I’ll have all the pictures. You can take that to the bank!
Keep up the good work. Thank you for your service, and you’ll be hearing from me soon enough.
November 12th, 2021 – What a mess!!!
Kalimera Rich!
I hope you had a good Veteran’s Day. It’s always good to take some time to reflect on those who served, but why am I telling you that? You are a Veteran for gosh sakes! You know all about serving and reflection, so in that light, thank you for your service and bravery!
Speaking of bravery, it must feel good to be a Braves fan these days. Good to see they finally got a World Series (better them than the Astros!).
There’s some good, some bad, and some ugly since the last time we spoke. And I suppose it’s probably best to get the bad out of the way first. Last time, you mentioned how I needed to fix up my yard a little bit. You think it was bad then, well now look what they did to it!!!
They dug a big hole in it! There was some sewage stuff going on in the basement, and boy did it stink for the people downstairs. So even though it’s not ideal, I’d rather have a hole in my yard than a smelly basement that’ll bring back horror stories of a late night pit stop at a gas station bathroom (no need for any additional details). I guess it’s as good of time as any to warn you in case you make your way out here that they don’t let you flush your toilet paper. Yeesh! it’s been a bit rough, but if I’m being honest with you, I brake the rules a little bit… but only for the first wipe or two! Gotta get the messy stuff out of the way, and I’m pretty conservative with my toilet paper square usage, so it’s not like I’m stuffing rolls down at a time. Although the strategy can lead to other messes and residue landing outside the squares, but no need for too many details. You’re a smart guy, so I think you get the idea.
Now for some good news. We finally got our house stuff shipped to us from the states. However, it was a pain in the keister to get it all unpacked and put away. Just check out this picture of what it looked like after the movers unpacked everything.
Talk about an anathema! I’m sure you’ve had to clean up messes similar to that when you were in the Navy. It took about a week or two, but we finally were able to get somewhat organized. Although we still have some work to do, it’s at least manageable.
Now if they can just hurry up with our car! We’re just dying to do some sightseeing!
Now for the ugly…
My baby boy is getting pretty big these days. My wife had to go back to the States to attend a wedding, so it was just the boys hanging out for the weekend. And I don’t want to brag or anything, but me and that little boy of mine make a pretty good team.
In fact, I even got him to start eating all by himself! Still trying to work on him using a spoon/fork, but at least he can use his fingers.
The other day though, we had a little bit of a crisis. It was early in the morning, he was still fast asleep. I snuck out of the room and decided to get a little workout in while I still had time, for these days, I’m hard pressed for it. I mean, who knew babies took up that much time??? But anyway, I found a quick window and proceeded to exercise. Tough workout, but I was feeling great, and still no sign of him waking anytime soon. “Well now, I guess I have some time for a quick shower,” I thought to myself. It was risky, but you know me… it was a risk I was willing to take.
After a nice warm shower, I dry off, get dressed, and proceed to check on the little guy. I heard him making some giggles, but no crying, no whining, nothing. “Boy, how did I get blessed with such a good boy?” I asked myself. I snuck in, ready to say good morning, for it truly was a good morning, the start to a perfect day…
I turned the corner to the crib. Rich, I’m not kidding you, there was poop everywhere. The crib, the sheets, his clothes, his feet, any place you could conceive, it was there. It was like he dropped a giant diaper bomb right in the middle of the crib! What a mess! The thing was, I wasn’t even that mad. I was more overwhelmed, and quite frankly, impressed by what my boy was capable of! However, the rest of the day consisted of baths and lots of cleaning. Not the most fun day of being a dad, but if he could do that and the tender age of 9 months, just imagine what he can do when he’s older. Look out world!
Unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures of the incident, so you’ll have to just use your imagination as to how the incident looked, but I think my description did a pretty decent job.
Oh, one more thing. I saw this shirt in the touristy part of town, and thought you’d get a kick out of it, since you’re kind of an old school guy. Just don’t mind the shirt below it (I edited it out a little bit, for it had some naughty words in there.
December 23rd, 2021 – Christmas Edition
Merry Christmas Rich! Or as the Greek’s say it, “Kala Christoyena!”
I hope the holiday cheer is ringing true back at the office this year. My wife’s mother is here, and my family is supposed to make it over here sometime around the Holidays as well, so it should be a pretty decent Christmas, as long as they can get through the airports with all the COVID crap. Holy Bologna what a mess! At this point, I’m ready to find a doc and say, “just give me this dang ol’ thing and let’s get this over with!”
I guess if there’s a silver lining out of all this, with the delta and now with the omicron, it’s that we’re all becoming well acquainted with the Greek alphabet.
Thankfully, the Greek’s do a decent job as far as decorating and getting in the spirit. It’s not quite like it is back in the States, but I’d say it’s pretty satisfactory, especially for being in another country. It was just too bad they didn’t really do much for Thanksgiving, but at least they let my wife off for that.
We’re doing our best in getting into the Christmas spirit, but that little boy of mine has been pretty resistant. At first glance, you think you’re looking at a cute little elf on the shelf…
Then out of nowhere, he turns into a grouch on the couch!
You’d think he’d be happy about his first Christmas, but no way. Man, he’s been cranky these days. He’s been cryin’ and screamin’, and pooping up a storm! Rich, you wouldn’t believe the devastation he’s capable of making. I kid you not, I fear for my life every time I have to open up his diaper for a change…
In all fairness, he could be going through a growth spurt and getting some teeth, which may explain all the fussiness these days. Can you believe that guy will be 1 at the end of the month? I think he’s growing up too fast if you ask me, but luckily I’ve been able to savor most of it, at least the parts where he isn’t having a Code Red Nuclear Meltdown (and I’m sure you’ve experienced some of those once or twice with your kids).
One good thing about Grandma being here is that the wife and I finally got a date night out here, and boy did we pick a nice place.
Rich, let me tell ya, this place was fancy! So fancy, that our friend Marquetta would’ve walked in and said, “Oh boy, what a fancy place!” And you know that’s impressive, because she was always telling me about all the best places to take my wife on dates back in DC. The best part was, that it was half the price you would pay at one of those upscale/uptight dinner places back in the states. You know, the ones where everyone acts all snotty with pinky-sized portions for the main course? Heck, now that I think of it, it was probably even a third or a quarter of what you’d pay in some places! It’s like a piece of toast with some avocado on it costs you like 10 bucks nowadays. It’s ridiculous! Avocado on toast… Rich, sometimes, I wonder what the world is coming to…
But not this place. And believe me, they didn’t skimp on the portions like those other places either. You wouldn’t believe how much food they gave you. There was soup, pita bread, cornbread, house salad, lentil salad, eggplant salad, pepper pate, spinach pie, and that was all well before a full serving of steak and potatoes. Heck, I was already full before the steak came, but there was no way I was passing up on a nice steak. And on top of that, they gave us 3 different desserts! Rich, I’m not kidding, by the end of the night, I felt like the guy from that Monty Python movie who eats the thin mint at the restaurant and explodes. I was that full. But it was well worth it.
I hope things are going good back home, and I hope our buddy Mike is doing all right. That’s wild about what happened with his neighbors, but knowing him, he probably set all those kids straight and put a whoopin’ on them, just like his Eagles put a whoopin’ on the Team formerly known as the Washington Redskins.
Oh, and some good news. We finally got our car here! The bad news is that we have to wait a few more weeks before we get to drive and, because they have to do all sorts of processing. I’m just like, “throw me a freakin’ bone here people! I just want to get out of town and explore the country a little bit!”
Anyway, that’s about all for now. Don’t forget to share the update with folks, and tell everybody back there I wish them a very Merry Christmas and that I miss all of em’!
Until then, take care, and keep those guys out of trouble!
The Trials and Tribulations of a Grizzly Chadams 