April 19th, 2022 – The Most Beautiful Place on Earth (According to a Smokeshow)
Kalimera Rich! I hope you had a happy Easter. Turns out, the Greek Orthodox Church schedules Easter differently, so I we’ll be celebrating Easter next weekend, I suppose. And really, the whole thing has thrown me off a bit! I’m going to have to do my homework for next year so we can celebrate the right way. One thing’s for sure, is that before all this is over, I’ll make sure you’re prepared when you decide to celebrate Greek Orthodox Easter.
We finally made it out to one of the Greek islands, and let me tell ya Rich, it was awesome! A much needed break from Athens, which is often dense, dirty, and full of traffic. We went to a place called Hydra, where there are no cars. And don’t make the mistake that I did and call it by what I think it should be called. It’s actually pronounced, “Idra,” and well, the locals weren’t shy about giving me a hard time about it!
From what my wife tells me, the actress Sophia Loren said it was the most beautiful place she’d ever been to on Earth. I don’t know that much about her, but apparently she was quite the “smokeshow,” as the kids say these days, and she was in the movie Grumpier Old Men. And now that I think of it, our good friend and colleague Tara told me that that movie was based off of you and Mike. I wasn’t quite sure where she got that idea from, but I suppose I’ll take her word for it.
Well, enough slobbering over Miss Loren here. Bottom line is that if you ever make it out here, I would highly recommend you check out one of the islands, because that’s where you’re going to get an authentic Greek experience. And while I was there, I even found myself a nice fisherman’s outfit!
I think it’s a pretty good look, but unfortunately, by the time you read this, those lovely locks and that beard will be tamed. The wife couldn’t take it anymore and demanded I get a haircut. I pleaded with her, explaining you once had a great mane and sported it with pride during the Washington National’s World Series run of 2019, but she wasn’t having it.
All wasn’t lost though. I found this place called Barberia Atenes, of which advertise as a “Gentlemen’s Club.” Now, I know what you’re thinking, and I can assure you, this isn’t one of those Gentlemen’s Club that Hunter Biden goes to. No no, none of that greasy stuff. These guys were top notch, professional, and well dressed, the true definition of the word “gentlemen.” And Rich, I kid you not, the first thing they ask me when I walked in, “Hello sir, would you like a drink while you wait? Perhaps a glass of whiskey?” My mind was blown. And this wasn’t that cheap whiskey that our buddy Mike used to drink as a sailor. No way José. This was some quality stuff.
After a few sips the barber was ready and I took my seat. “Sir, what type of cut would you like?” Talk about a riddle that had me stumped! It’d been so long since I had a cut that I had completely forgotten what my go-to style was! My mind started racing, my head grew dizzy, and I took another sip of whiskey. I couldn’t just waste their time like that! Back in the states at a Sports Clips? ok, maybe I’d have some time, but these were professionals, with clients to see and things to do! I had to think, and think quick! “What type of cut would Rich get… THAT’S IT!!!”
I rummaged through my phone and found an old pic of you and me from the Navy Yard days, and told the man, “I want to look like that.” Rich, no lie, they gave me the best haircut I ever had. They cut with precision, they trimmed my beard, they spend 45 minutes primping and pampering, making sure every last detail was complete.
Then I started sweating. “You know, this is really nice. Like, over the top nice, something only those fancy politicians can afford. And all the whiskey, the pomp and circumstance, attention to detail, this has probably got to run me… uh oh…” Let me tell ya, I really stepped in it big time. I was seconds from blowing my entire budget on one stinking haircut. I was feeling sicker than ever, and even regretted getting that refill or two of whiskey. Tipsy or not, I braced myself for the damage.
“Thank you, sir. That will be 30 euros please.”
“What? Come again? 30 euros???” Rich, I couldn’t believe it. I felt like a king! “30 euros? Please, take my money! And here’s an extra 5 for the tip!!!” All that for 30 euros? Heck, I almost pay that much for a haircut at any dusty old place back in DC, and when it comes to tipping, they’re actually grateful for tips over here. A great cut, a complimentary glass of whiskey… you bet your sweet toosh I’ll be going back!
And it occurred to me while I was there. My engineering days may be numbered, for I may just need to open myself a whiskey bar/hair cut place when I get back to the States, because I can’t believe nobody had ever thought of that prior. Then again, I may need to be careful about who I tell. I’m telling you because I can trust you, but some of these guys, even our good buddy Mike, you just never know. Now don’t get me wrong, I like Mike and believe he’s a stand up guy, but you know what they say in the Navy, “Trust but verify.”
…Well, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe telling Mike isn’t such a bad thing after all. I’m sure if we work with him a little bit, I betcha the man can clean up pretty well and looks pretty sharp in a suit. And now that I’m really thinking about it, he may be the perfect spokesman, a poster boy to show the world that we can turn even the likes of him into a class act, a perfect gentlemen.
The Perfect Gentlemen… that’s it! That’s the name of my new business! And I’ll tell you what, if I ever get this thing off the board, you’ll be my first customer!
That’s about all that’s going on right now. I hear the Nats are playing the Dodgers this week, and I also heard about how the Dodgers pulled Kershaw when he was 6 outs away from pitching a no hitter. I don’t know about you, but that’s unbelievable. I don’t know what it is with these sports stars these days. I think they’re all a little too spoiled if you ask me, because you wouldn’t see the likes of Roger Clemens or Nolan Ryan stepping off the mound if they were on the brink of pitching no hitters. It’s a shame, but that’s how it is with these kids these days. The best I can do is teach my little guy appropriately. And don’t you worry, I’ve been getting him well acquainted with the classic sports legends since the day he was born. And trust me, I’ll be guiding him as long as I can.
Until next time and very respectfully,
Zack
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