I can hear it now. “Now that Rich is gone, I won’t ever have to put up with that Zack guy ever again! Thank you Lord!”
Well, not so fast, heheh. I’m here to stay, at least for a little while longer, and now, the torch has been passed on! You’re the man now!
We went to this place called Mykonos for the wife’s birthday almost two weekends ago, and boy was it expensive! 5 bucks for a bottle of water at the restaurant! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!?!” Picking a restaurant felt like we were playing Russian Roulette, and if you picked the wrong one, boy oh boy were you going to pay the price!
BUT… there’s always a diamond in the rough, and I found just the store. I knew I had struck gold when a bottle of Mountain Dew was only a dollar. And believe me, Mountain Dew over here is like finding caviar back home. You just don’t go to a store and find yourself Mountain Dew. In fact, you’re lucky if you can get it on the black market! So believe me, I got my fill and then some, and I certainly showed my appreciation to the cashier. “You guys have been so good to me… Yes, I’m really enjoying the island. And wouldn’t you know it, it’s my wife’s birthday today! Oh, thank you. You know I have to treat her well. Say, do you have any champagne…? You do? That’s great! Let me get a bottle for her. She deserves the very best. Which one do you recommend? The Moet Rose? Sure, let’s try it out. Nothing is off limits on this day… WHAT THE??? 87 DOLLARS????!!!!!
Mike, I’ll tell ya, I really stepped in it this time. I couldn’t take it back at this point. Heck, I’d look like such a cheapskate! And what would Rich think if he ever found out? You know I wouldn’t hear the end of it from him! So, I bit the bullet and got her an 87 dollar bottle of champagne on top of her manicure, pedicure, and deep massage day. The things we do for our wives… I just hope the good Lord remembers all those good deeds in the end.
It was a beautiful island though, but too many youngsters for an old fart like me. All these girls were walking around with their cellphones in the air, trying to take these things called, “selfies” for that Instagram app. Mike, let me tell ya, they were everywhere! Even the mom’s were doing it! It was ridiculous! And many of them were hardly wearing any clothes at all! It’s like I can’t take my son anywhere around this place!
I’m surprised I even got these few pics with all the naughtiness going on around us!
Regardless of the depths these kids went to remove all forms of decency, I didn’t let that get in the way of taking some good pics, but not of me though! You know I’m not into that garbage! Well, maybe I do a little, but I strictly do it for my fans, and that’s it! And just between you and me, I was able to snap a few pics of pics of the little guy, and I’m not even braggin’ when I say I got one good-looking boy! Look out for him on the cover of GQ someday! And don’t worry, I’m going to make sure he grows up with good values, so you don’t have to worry about him being around the grandchildren or anything. He’s a heartthrob, and he may break some hearts, but never on purpose!
Well, in other news, it sounds like my free time just became non-existent, for now, I’m officially an employee at the US Embassy in Athens, Greece! Not too bad for a dingus like me! That being said, I got a lot of work to do, but don’t worry, I’ll still find ways to keep you updated on my adventures. But wouldn’t you know, it, my first week on the job, and I’m already sick! Bad timing if you ask me, and you know me. Any other time, I’d power right through it, but ever since this COVID thing, I ain’t coming around, even if it is only a mild cold! No way am I going to be that guy on my first week! But hopefully, it passes quickly and I can get back on track.
Until then, you know the drill. Tell everybody I say hi, and feel free to pass this along to our old friend Rich. I’m sure he misses us just as much as Jerry Jones misses all that money he gave Dak Prescott just to watch him get hurt again
And whatever you do, don’t let the turkey’s get you down!
November 1st, 2022 – Meteora
Mikey, I just had to email you about this last place I was at. Man oh man was it awesome!
They call it Meteora, because there’s a bunch of tall rocks and when it’s cloudy, it sort of looks like meteors up there, but get this. Back in the day when the Ottoman Empire was in charge, there was a bunch of Christian Monks who dug themselves little caves to hide from them. Why, because apparently, the Turks were a bunch of jerks, that’s why! So they would stay in these caves for like days and weeks, and I think there were a few people in the town that felt sorry for them, so they would send them bread and water and all that.
Well, eventually, a few of them got together and decided to build some monasteries up on the rocks, and who could blame them? Living in a monastery with other people and beds beats living in a cave any day! How they did it? Beats me, but in the end, they built like seven of them.
So the years go back, and people are like, “Meteor-a-what? Big whoop!” But then, James Bond goes there in one of his movies, and boom, the place is popping again!
And I gotta say, the place did not disappoint! It’s no wonder Bond went there! I haven’t felt this much at peace since the last time I had a McRib in my mouth, which has been awhile now since they don’t sell McRibs in Greece. And boy, that was in 2020… Who knows when the next time I’ll be able to taste one of those is?
I mean, I could talk about it, how it’s nice and quiet and they all have nice kept garden areas, and then there’s the views! I suppose you better just see for yourself!
My mom and pop even came along for the trip!
The only downside is that you’d have to go without seeing babes for a while, which, for a guy like Rich, would be a tough lifestyle to acclimate to. But babes or no babes, getting to hang out up there in peace and everything doesn’t seem like a bad gig if you ask me. And just for my short time, there, I’m already in a better mood this week! So good, that I had a few jokes to crack about some of the guys back there, but in the interest of the monks of Meteora, I’m going to refrain! That’s how good I feel!
I gotta say, so far, I think this could actually be one of my favorite places over here!
April 19th, 2022 – The Most Beautiful Place on Earth (According to a Smokeshow)
Kalimera Rich! I hope you had a happy Easter. Turns out, the Greek Orthodox Church schedules Easter differently, so I we’ll be celebrating Easter next weekend, I suppose. And really, the whole thing has thrown me off a bit! I’m going to have to do my homework for next year so we can celebrate the right way. One thing’s for sure, is that before all this is over, I’ll make sure you’re prepared when you decide to celebrate Greek Orthodox Easter.
We finally made it out to one of the Greek islands, and let me tell ya Rich, it was awesome! A much needed break from Athens, which is often dense, dirty, and full of traffic. We went to a place called Hydra, where there are no cars. And don’t make the mistake that I did and call it by what I think it should be called. It’s actually pronounced, “Idra,” and well, the locals weren’t shy about giving me a hard time about it!
From what my wife tells me, the actress Sophia Loren said it was the most beautiful place she’d ever been to on Earth. I don’t know that much about her, but apparently she was quite the “smokeshow,” as the kids say these days, and she was in the movie Grumpier Old Men. And now that I think of it, our good friend and colleague Tara told me that that movie was based off of you and Mike. I wasn’t quite sure where she got that idea from, but I suppose I’ll take her word for it.
Sofia Loren… the original smokeshow!
Well, enough slobbering over Miss Loren here. Bottom line is that if you ever make it out here, I would highly recommend you check out one of the islands, because that’s where you’re going to get an authentic Greek experience. And while I was there, I even found myself a nice fisherman’s outfit!
Watch till the end. You won’t be disappointed.
I think it’s a pretty good look, but unfortunately, by the time you read this, those lovely locks and that beard will be tamed. The wife couldn’t take it anymore and demanded I get a haircut. I pleaded with her, explaining you once had a great mane and sported it with pride during the Washington National’s World Series run of 2019, but she wasn’t having it.
All wasn’t lost though. I found this place called Barberia Atenes, of which advertise as a “Gentlemen’s Club.” Now, I know what you’re thinking, and I can assure you, this isn’t one of those Gentlemen’s Club that Hunter Biden goes to. No no, none of that greasy stuff. These guys were top notch, professional, and well dressed, the true definition of the word “gentlemen.” And Rich, I kid you not, the first thing they ask me when I walked in, “Hello sir, would you like a drink while you wait? Perhaps a glass of whiskey?” My mind was blown. And this wasn’t that cheap whiskey that our buddy Mike used to drink as a sailor. No way José. This was some quality stuff.
After a few sips the barber was ready and I took my seat. “Sir, what type of cut would you like?” Talk about a riddle that had me stumped! It’d been so long since I had a cut that I had completely forgotten what my go-to style was! My mind started racing, my head grew dizzy, and I took another sip of whiskey. I couldn’t just waste their time like that! Back in the states at a Sports Clips? ok, maybe I’d have some time, but these were professionals, with clients to see and things to do! I had to think, and think quick! “What type of cut would Rich get… THAT’S IT!!!”
I rummaged through my phone and found an old pic of you and me from the Navy Yard days, and told the man, “I want to look like that.” Rich, no lie, they gave me the best haircut I ever had. They cut with precision, they trimmed my beard, they spend 45 minutes primping and pampering, making sure every last detail was complete.
Then I started sweating. “You know, this is really nice. Like, over the top nice, something only those fancy politicians can afford. And all the whiskey, the pomp and circumstance, attention to detail, this has probably got to run me… uh oh…” Let me tell ya, I really stepped in it big time. I was seconds from blowing my entire budget on one stinking haircut. I was feeling sicker than ever, and even regretted getting that refill or two of whiskey. Tipsy or not, I braced myself for the damage.
“Thank you, sir. That will be 30 euros please.”
“What? Come again? 30 euros???” Rich, I couldn’t believe it. I felt like a king! “30 euros? Please, take my money! And here’s an extra 5 for the tip!!!” All that for 30 euros? Heck, I almost pay that much for a haircut at any dusty old place back in DC, and when it comes to tipping, they’re actually grateful for tips over here. A great cut, a complimentary glass of whiskey… you bet your sweet toosh I’ll be going back!
Not too shabby if I say so myself!
And it occurred to me while I was there. My engineering days may be numbered, for I may just need to open myself a whiskey bar/hair cut place when I get back to the States, because I can’t believe nobody had ever thought of that prior. Then again, I may need to be careful about who I tell. I’m telling you because I can trust you, but some of these guys, even our good buddy Mike, you just never know. Now don’t get me wrong, I like Mike and believe he’s a stand up guy, but you know what they say in the Navy, “Trust but verify.”
…Well, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe telling Mike isn’t such a bad thing after all. I’m sure if we work with him a little bit, I betcha the man can clean up pretty well and looks pretty sharp in a suit. And now that I’m really thinking about it, he may be the perfect spokesman, a poster boy to show the world that we can turn even the likes of him into a class act, a perfect gentlemen.
The Perfect Gentlemen… that’s it! That’s the name of my new business! And I’ll tell you what, if I ever get this thing off the board, you’ll be my first customer!
That’s about all that’s going on right now. I hear the Nats are playing the Dodgers this week, and I also heard about how the Dodgers pulled Kershaw when he was 6 outs away from pitching a no hitter. I don’t know about you, but that’s unbelievable. I don’t know what it is with these sports stars these days. I think they’re all a little too spoiled if you ask me, because you wouldn’t see the likes of Roger Clemens or Nolan Ryan stepping off the mound if they were on the brink of pitching no hitters. It’s a shame, but that’s how it is with these kids these days. The best I can do is teach my little guy appropriately. And don’t you worry, I’ve been getting him well acquainted with the classic sports legends since the day he was born. And trust me, I’ll be guiding him as long as I can.
Some of the greatest athletes of our generation, no doubt
January 26th 2022 – The Turkeys keep getting me down!
Well Rich, I wish I could say Kalimera with all my heart. But I was really hoping that I would be bearing good news that my Packers avenged your Cowboys by defeating the 49ers last Saturday. And dag nabbit, I’m still mad about it all! I know I shouldn’t be, because one, we have a few 49ers fans back in the office and I’m sure they’re all having a great week about it, and despite their poor judgements on what football team to root for, they’re all still decent and well-mannered people. And two, it’s what the good book teaches us, but I just can’t help it! That book’s really long! Heck, I’ve been reading it for a year now, and I’ve only gotten to the part where Jesus starts performing all those miracles and stuff! And you know me, Rich, I try really hard to be a good guy and everything and to do what the good lord tells us, but I just haven’t got there yet. All those years sitting next to our neighbor Mike keep weighing us down. I don’t know how you do it sometimes…
Well, in other news, we finally got all our paperwork in order to drive our car. But then, this happened…
And this…
This too.
So that means no driving for us… still.
It was a complete Snowpacolyse! Except for the grocery store and a few cafe’s, the whole city’s shut down! We had to have gotten over a foot of snow, and the Greek’s never get snow, so needless to say we’re hurting a little bit over here. Can you imagine Socrates trying to walk up to the Acropolis to teach philosophy, or King Leonidas fighting Persians in this? No wonder he got all made and kicked that guy down the pit!
Rich, it’s so bad, they won’t even deliver McDonalds to my house right now! Sometimes, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. “Why God, why? Why do you put me through such misery?!?!?”. All that said, you can easily conclude that it’s been a rough week so far, but I guess it gives you appreciation for everything we have back in the states.
We tried to get out and enjoy it a little bit. I don’t quite think the little guy likes the snow just yet, and the wife hit a patch of slick marble on the sidewalk and landed right on her rump! I’ll tell ya, that marble sure looks shiny and nice, which is why all those rich folks use it, and I guess it’s plentiful over here so they have it in a lot of places like the sidewalks, but one thing’s for sure, it ain’t good for walking in the snow!
At least we were still able to get a few pictures out of the whole ordeal.
Well, maybe next month I’ll be over my despair and I can bring tidings of better news. Not sure how long this snow will last, but I imagine things will warm up and wash things away soon. Now it’s just a matter of what the aftermath is.
As always, keep an eye on the team for me. I hope they are coping better than me right now.
March 16th 2022 – Lots of Firsts for the Little One!
Kalimera Rich!
First off, I can’t believe I missed February! But in reality, I suppose it’s not that unbelievable, being that February is the shortest month, and I was still in mourning over the Packers losing, along with all the other crazy stuff going on in the world. You think gas prices are bad now over in the States, over here it’s like 9 bucks a gallon (which it has always been expensive over here, but still)! It’s ridiculous! But now that the Packers have resigned Aaron Rodgers for a few more years, it seems that I’ve been able to operate with more clarity, thank the Lord.
Speaking of the Lord, Rich, I did something I thought I could never do… I read the entire bible, all the way through, all 2,300 pages of it. And let me tell ya, I already feel like a better man! Our good friend Mike would be proud! All those times I came by his desk and he’d shake his head in disappointment, saying “Zack, Zack, Zack…” lowering the tone of his voice with each repetition in the same manner as you would admonish a child reaching for a cookie in the cookie jar only to knock the entire jar over and spill its contents all over the ground. If he could see me now, I just know those head shakes would turn into nods of approval followed by, “…Zack, you’re all right.”
And some more good news is that we were able to travel and see the ocean, now that we have our car and can drive! Took a nice little getaway for the weekend and relaxed by the water to this little place called Glyfada. Technically, it’s still a part of Athens, but still, it was nice to get out of our regular spots for once.
We have a few trips to some of the islands next month, so we’re pretty excited for those. I’ll be sure to take pictures and send them to you guys.
The little guy’s doing pretty good. He met his first friend at the park the other day. Was a little nervous about how he’d interact with other children, but he just went up and gave him a big hug! It’s probably similar to the first time you met Mike at the office. Scary and unpredictable, but sometimes, it’s just meant to be.
He should be walking any day now. In fact, I think he can walk now, but he’s a little scared to do it on his own. When he does, watch out, because it’ll be big trouble in little Greece. In the meantime, he got his first haircut, and we took him to the aquarium.
Boy did he enjoy that! But we gotta be a little careful with him. I let him watch this Cocomelon show on TV, and now he’s hooked! I’ll only let him watch for a little bit, but holy cow does he throw a fit when I turn it off! He acts like a Bears fan whenever they lose to the Packers, or an Eagles or Redskins fans when they lose to the Cowboys. Like, you know it’s coming, but I guess they have to learn to take it with grace. We’ll get there… someday.
I can’t lie, even I’m a little hooked…
But now, I’m going to call in a favor from ya. There’s this facilities management position opening at the embassy, so it’s time to update the ol’ resume and I need to get some names, numbers and emails from ya. Truth be told, I may need another favor from ya in the future, just like everybody else in the office. I think it’s because you’re the one they can trust, and if something needs to get done, they can count on you, at least that’s my motto.
I think that’s all for now. Gotta get ready for some lunch before the little guy wakes up. Until next time, keep up the good work on your end, and I’ll represent us well over here.
At least that’s what they say over here in Greece. It’s supposed to mean good morning or good day or something, but I can’t understand anything that anybody says over here! It’s like they’re speaking in Ancient Greek or something!
That being said, we made it over here safe and sound and we’re starting to get all settled in, but it wasn’t easy. We barely made our flight out of DC, and I was running with three bags in my hand just to make sure we caught our flight out of here. Let me tell ya, Dulles can be a madhouse, and some of those TSA agents can be a real pain in the keister. And geez, it seemed like I was running for miles after I finally got passed those guys! I don’t know why they had to make that airport so dang big! Thankfully, it sounds like the good lord had an angel guiding us, cause I don’t know how we would’ve made it without one of those. And double thankful that we didn’t have to ride on one of those weird looking transport buses. You know, the ones that look like the imperial walkers from Star Wars? That would’ve been a nightmare!
And speaking of angels, that baby boy of mine was so good on the flight. Slept most of the way, and didn’t even cry except for a few brief moments, which nobody can fault him for. You would’ve been proud of him, except for the part when we were landing… then there was trouble…
We were giving him some milk, you know, to help with the pressure and his ears. He almost got it all the way down, but then catastrophe struck. Rich, that boy barfed the entire bottle of milk back up, and that stuff went everywhere! All over the seat, my pants, the blankets, my wife… Everywhere! Talk about a disaster trying to clean it all up. But he made up for it when we went through customs. That seems to be the trick around here, just have a baby in your hands. “Oh, you have a baby? Go right ahead, don’t worry about your COVID papers. Your passport? Ah, just keep them in your pocket. I trust ya with that little guy. Go ahead, skip to the front of the line…” Ok, ok so I may have been exaggerating a little bit, because they’re still a little nuts about the COVID stuff here, but you get the idea.
Besides trying to get my sleep schedule on track, everything has been going pretty well, and we’re starting to settle in. And between you and me, they set us up real good. Our place is huge! I’m not sure what I’m going to do with all this space, so if you’re ever feeling adventurous, stop on by and see me.
I got lots of work still to do before everything is good and dandy, for we still haven’t even gotten all our stuff yet! But we got a few years to take care of that, so I’m not too worried. Hopefully I’ll have some pictures to share on my next update, and I still need to go out to the Acropolis sometime. I hear that place is pretty spiffy. Hope things are going well back in the homeland. Say hi to all the folks for me, and keep a lookout for ol’ Mike. You know how much I worry about him.
October 6th, 2021– Cliff? What Cliff?
Kalimera Rich!
Thought I’d give you guys another life update as well as the long-awaited pictures you had asked for. And I would’ve emailed last week, but I felt as though it would be appropriate for those who needed time to grieve. I mean, did you see that thwomping the Cowboys gave the Eagles? Holy cow, our good buddy Mike must’ve been a mess! One day, he’s shouting “fly Eagles fly!” The next, he’s on he’s banging his fists on his desk, crying, “why Eagles why?” I sure hope he’s doing ok, and I certainly think enough time has passed, but you never know.
We still haven’t received our car, so I haven’t been able to make my visit to the Acropolis yet, but my wife had a work dinner down there recently and got some nice pics. Hopefully I’ll get myself some pics too in the near future. But man, for all the talk about crumbling infrastructure, the Greeks could do some upgrades themselves!
Acropolis During the DaytimeAcropolis at Night
Thankfully, the Infrastructure at our house still looks pretty sound. Just check out this place! You know me, I only accept the highest standards for me and my family.
Ok, ok, so that’s not our real house. That’s actually the ambassador of South Africa’s residence. But one can always dream, right? Our place looks a little more modest, but you know me. I’m a pretty modest guy myself and eternally grateful for the gifts the good Lord has provided me. Just give me the basics: shelter, food, beer, and I’m a happy man!
Speaking of food, I think I already found the best restaurant in Greece. I’m tellin’ ya, if you ever come to visit, you gotta try this place. It’s amazing! And the prices aren’t too bad either. Some of the burgers are the best I’ve had since I got here, almost as good as some of the ones you get in the States!
Running can be a dangerous endeavor in Greece, for people drive like they’re mad, and they’re holes all over the place! But you know me, that can’t stop a guy like me from venturing out and exploring. I guess I’m just that type of guy! And judging by the views, I’d say it’s worth it! (it turns out, I was able to get my shot of the Acropolis after all…)
Check out the View!The Olympic Stadium
The other day, however, I woke up early to get a run in before the wife went to work. Feeling adventurous and confident in my navigational abilities, I decided to take a trail up the side of the mountain. Immersed in the beauty of the land, I ran through the Greek landscape guided by the spirits of the ancient philosophers Socrates and Plato and propelled by the strength and courage of the great warrior Pheidippides at Marathon, knowing they would show me the way back to my house with ease and… and…
Uh Ohh…
“Oh. Crap.” I said to myself, looking down upon the cliff in front of me. I was stuck on top of this mountain, without a clear path home. The wife would be awake any minute now, wondering where on Earth I could be. At this point I had two options in front of me. Retrace my steps and attempt to find the way back home, which would almost certainly result in me being late and a severe tongue lashing from my wife, or risk death by traversing down the cliff where I could clearly see the road and the path back home. Forced to think quickly on my feet and using the skills I learned in back at the Navy Yard assessing risk, I asked myself, “what would Rich do in a situation like this?” Suddenly, the answer was as clear as day. Thus, I proceeded the death-defying climb down the cliff.
“Hi hun, how are you?” I asked my wife as I walked in the door, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. And seeing that she had just woken up a few minutes prior, it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.
“Good, how was your… run?” I didn’t like the way she said that last word, nor the way she was staring at me. You know the feeling as well I do. Your wife senses something’s wrong, and all of a sudden, here comes a flood of questions. And let me tell ya, I could see punishment coming from a mile away.
“Why is your body covered in dirt? Oh my gosh, look at all those scrapes all over your arms! and why is your shirt ripped? Did you fall? Where did you run? You know I told you not to run on those trails in the morning! And look at all those bruises on your legs? Did you fall or something–“
“No, I didn’t fall off a cliff!… I mean, cliff? What cliff? I don’t even know what you’re talking about! Why would I have fallen off a cliff? I’m not stup–look, I gotta get in the shower so I can take care of the baby and you can get ready for work. I don’t have time for 20 questions, so let’s just table this for now.
“But Zack–“
“No more questions!”
Rich, let me tell ya, it’s only by the grace of God that I survived that without any further admonishment. I gotta say though, I was sore for a week! But I’ll be back on the trail soon enough. Maybe there’s even a trail up to the Acropolis. And believe me, I’ll have all the pictures. You can take that to the bank!
Keep up the good work. Thank you for your service, and you’ll be hearing from me soon enough.
November 12th, 2021– What a mess!!!
Kalimera Rich!
I hope you had a good Veteran’s Day. It’s always good to take some time to reflect on those who served, but why am I telling you that? You are a Veteran for gosh sakes! You know all about serving and reflection, so in that light, thank you for your service and bravery!
Speaking of bravery, it must feel good to be a Braves fan these days. Good to see they finally got a World Series (better them than the Astros!).
There’s some good, some bad, and some ugly since the last time we spoke. And I suppose it’s probably best to get the bad out of the way first. Last time, you mentioned how I needed to fix up my yard a little bit. You think it was bad then, well now look what they did to it!!!
They dug a big hole in it! There was some sewage stuff going on in the basement, and boy did it stink for the people downstairs. So even though it’s not ideal, I’d rather have a hole in my yard than a smelly basement that’ll bring back horror stories of a late night pit stop at a gas station bathroom (no need for any additional details). I guess it’s as good of time as any to warn you in case you make your way out here that they don’t let you flush your toilet paper. Yeesh! it’s been a bit rough, but if I’m being honest with you, I brake the rules a little bit… but only for the first wipe or two! Gotta get the messy stuff out of the way, and I’m pretty conservative with my toilet paper square usage, so it’s not like I’m stuffing rolls down at a time. Although the strategy can lead to other messes and residue landing outside the squares, but no need for too many details. You’re a smart guy, so I think you get the idea.
Now for some good news. We finally got our house stuff shipped to us from the states. However, it was a pain in the keister to get it all unpacked and put away. Just check out this picture of what it looked like after the movers unpacked everything.
Talk about an anathema! I’m sure you’ve had to clean up messes similar to that when you were in the Navy. It took about a week or two, but we finally were able to get somewhat organized. Although we still have some work to do, it’s at least manageable.
Now if they can just hurry up with our car! We’re just dying to do some sightseeing!
Now for the ugly…
My baby boy is getting pretty big these days. My wife had to go back to the States to attend a wedding, so it was just the boys hanging out for the weekend. And I don’t want to brag or anything, but me and that little boy of mine make a pretty good team.
In fact, I even got him to start eating all by himself! Still trying to work on him using a spoon/fork, but at least he can use his fingers.
The other day though, we had a little bit of a crisis. It was early in the morning, he was still fast asleep. I snuck out of the room and decided to get a little workout in while I still had time, for these days, I’m hard pressed for it. I mean, who knew babies took up that much time??? But anyway, I found a quick window and proceeded to exercise. Tough workout, but I was feeling great, and still no sign of him waking anytime soon. “Well now, I guess I have some time for a quick shower,” I thought to myself. It was risky, but you know me… it was a risk I was willing to take.
After a nice warm shower, I dry off, get dressed, and proceed to check on the little guy. I heard him making some giggles, but no crying, no whining, nothing. “Boy, how did I get blessed with such a good boy?” I asked myself. I snuck in, ready to say good morning, for it truly was a good morning, the start to a perfect day…
I turned the corner to the crib. Rich, I’m not kidding you, there was poop everywhere. The crib, the sheets, his clothes, his feet, any place you could conceive, it was there. It was like he dropped a giant diaper bomb right in the middle of the crib! What a mess! The thing was, I wasn’t even that mad. I was more overwhelmed, and quite frankly, impressed by what my boy was capable of! However, the rest of the day consisted of baths and lots of cleaning. Not the most fun day of being a dad, but if he could do that and the tender age of 9 months, just imagine what he can do when he’s older. Look out world!
Unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures of the incident, so you’ll have to just use your imagination as to how the incident looked, but I think my description did a pretty decent job.
Oh, one more thing. I saw this shirt in the touristy part of town, and thought you’d get a kick out of it, since you’re kind of an old school guy. Just don’t mind the shirt below it (I edited it out a little bit, for it had some naughty words in there.
December 23rd, 2021– Christmas Edition
Merry Christmas Rich! Or as the Greek’s say it, “Kala Christoyena!”
I hope the holiday cheer is ringing true back at the office this year. My wife’s mother is here, and my family is supposed to make it over here sometime around the Holidays as well, so it should be a pretty decent Christmas, as long as they can get through the airports with all the COVID crap. Holy Bologna what a mess! At this point, I’m ready to find a doc and say, “just give me this dang ol’ thing and let’s get this over with!”
I guess if there’s a silver lining out of all this, with the delta and now with the omicron, it’s that we’re all becoming well acquainted with the Greek alphabet.
Thankfully, the Greek’s do a decent job as far as decorating and getting in the spirit. It’s not quite like it is back in the States, but I’d say it’s pretty satisfactory, especially for being in another country. It was just too bad they didn’t really do much for Thanksgiving, but at least they let my wife off for that.
We’re doing our best in getting into the Christmas spirit, but that little boy of mine has been pretty resistant. At first glance, you think you’re looking at a cute little elf on the shelf…
Then out of nowhere, he turns into a grouch on the couch!
You’d think he’d be happy about his first Christmas, but no way. Man, he’s been cranky these days. He’s been cryin’ and screamin’, and pooping up a storm! Rich, you wouldn’t believe the devastation he’s capable of making. I kid you not, I fear for my life every time I have to open up his diaper for a change…
In all fairness, he could be going through a growth spurt and getting some teeth, which may explain all the fussiness these days. Can you believe that guy will be 1 at the end of the month? I think he’s growing up too fast if you ask me, but luckily I’ve been able to savor most of it, at least the parts where he isn’t having a Code Red Nuclear Meltdown (and I’m sure you’ve experienced some of those once or twice with your kids).
One good thing about Grandma being here is that the wife and I finally got a date night out here, and boy did we pick a nice place.
Rich, let me tell ya, this place was fancy! So fancy, that our friend Marquetta would’ve walked in and said, “Oh boy, what a fancy place!” And you know that’s impressive, because she was always telling me about all the best places to take my wife on dates back in DC. The best part was, that it was half the price you would pay at one of those upscale/uptight dinner places back in the states. You know, the ones where everyone acts all snotty with pinky-sized portions for the main course? Heck, now that I think of it, it was probably even a third or a quarter of what you’d pay in some places! It’s like a piece of toast with some avocado on it costs you like 10 bucks nowadays. It’s ridiculous! Avocado on toast… Rich, sometimes, I wonder what the world is coming to…
But not this place. And believe me, they didn’t skimp on the portions like those other places either. You wouldn’t believe how much food they gave you. There was soup, pita bread, cornbread, house salad, lentil salad, eggplant salad, pepper pate, spinach pie, and that was all well before a full serving of steak and potatoes. Heck, I was already full before the steak came, but there was no way I was passing up on a nice steak. And on top of that, they gave us 3 different desserts! Rich, I’m not kidding, by the end of the night, I felt like the guy from that Monty Python movie who eats the thin mint at the restaurant and explodes. I was that full. But it was well worth it.
I hope things are going good back home, and I hope our buddy Mike is doing all right. That’s wild about what happened with his neighbors, but knowing him, he probably set all those kids straight and put a whoopin’ on them, just like his Eagles put a whoopin’ on the Team formerly known as the Washington Redskins.
Oh, and some good news. We finally got our car here! The bad news is that we have to wait a few more weeks before we get to drive and, because they have to do all sorts of processing. I’m just like, “throw me a freakin’ bone here people! I just want to get out of town and explore the country a little bit!”
Anyway, that’s about all for now. Don’t forget to share the update with folks, and tell everybody back there I wish them a very Merry Christmas and that I miss all of em’!
Until then, take care, and keep those guys out of trouble!
The Trials and Tribulations of a Grizzly Chadams 