Kalimera Rich,

It’s been a while since I’ve written, but it’s a sensitive matter, because let’s face it, I think you’re the only guy who would understand.  And besides, our buddy Mike is a little slow with his reply’s (not like you were), so I need to speak to a reliable source, somebody who won’t let me down.  Am I disappointed in him, yes, as we all should be, but I can’t be too hard on him for at least he had the decency to give me your personal email.

But, as I predicted last year, nobody stepped up to the plate.  It was a tough job, but somebody had to do it.  So, I put my big boy… or I suppose you could say my big red pants on, and…

That’s right.  I was Santa this year.

And let me tell ya, Rich, that’s some risky business, although I’m not telling you anything you already know!  Some kid tries to tug on your beard, another tries to trick you into saying you’re “not the real Santa (and like they even know!),” and you should’ve heard what some of these kids were asking for!  Why, this one girl who landed herself on the naughty list, Rich I kid you not, asked for “a nuclear bomb so she could blow up her brother’s room.”  I don’t know about you, but back in my day, saying something like that to the big guy would give you a lifetime ban from the Nice List.  Oh, and the worst one I had… get this.  I asked this little boy what he wanted, and he said to me with a solemn face, “I just want my mom and dad to stop fighting.”  I don’t care how many years you’ve been on the job, good luck coming up with a good answer for that one!

But you know what, the reward greatly outweighed the risk.  I mean, check out the service I had rolling into the ambassador’s house…

That’s right, police escort service, and boy, you should’ve seen the reception.  I was the biggest celebrity in Greece that day!  Man, the kids were lining up, giving me hugs, excited to talk to me!  Even the ambassador wanted to shake my hand, and he’s got it good with the President!  And I never realized this, but the ladies were pretty fond of Santa as well.  This particular one had a penchant for becoming Mrs. Claus.

All in all, I can say that we’re in a short list of people man enough to step up and do the job.  But boy does it feel get to be in such upstanding company.  There aren’t many like us left in the world Rich, but thank God we exist, and as long as I’m still here, well, I find it my duty, and my honor, to serve my country in such a dignified role, and I’m darn lucky I had your mentorship over the years to prepare me for this moment. I couldn’t have done it without you, though I do admit, I did find some “how to” videos on the internet that showed me how to be a good Santa.

As for our buddy Mike, I’m afraid he’s been a bad boy this year, forgetting to write Santa back.  Expect plenty of coal in his stocking.  But no need for you to worry, Rich.  I’ll make sure you have plenty of presents under the tree this year, now that I have a say.

Merry Christmas!

-Santa

Part 11: Winter 2024